I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
