why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
