Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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