I'm sorry my penis didn't work
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
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