I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Randomize
