home. puking in laundry basket.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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