Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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