When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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