is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
