Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Success! We fucked roommates!
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
