Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
