508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
