i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
jump out the window naked night went bad
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
