just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
