Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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