Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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