I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
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My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
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Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
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