bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
