what day is it and did you see me today?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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