1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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