so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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