Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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