so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
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He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
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I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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