I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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