We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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