it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
