lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
