I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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