Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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