his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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