I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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