paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
