I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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