I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
