I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Come share oat with me in your robe
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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