Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
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You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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