Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You ruined the universe
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
