Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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