4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
