end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
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you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
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Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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