Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
