Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
