The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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