Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
