the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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