you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize