I hope mine doesn't look like that
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
