dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
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He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
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Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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