Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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