am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
