D3 body, D1 cock
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
