but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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