Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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