I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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