i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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