I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
