Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
