K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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