Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
