Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
