dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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