perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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