Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
you made out with another girl for some wings
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
