How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize