i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
